Saturday, November 15, 2008

I've Been Microchipped

Like my faithful, furry friend Nala, yours truly has been microchipped.

I renewed my passport the other day, which incidentally is MUCH faster here at the consulate than in the Collin County passport office (seven days as opposed to six weeks; let's hear it for small government!). My first one, issued in 1999, was plain and simple - unassuming graphics, a real picture laminated to the information page, and that's about it. In the new one, they felt the need to be creative, with all sorts of suitably American images on each page: Lady Liberty, Voyager passing the Moon, a steamboat on the mighty Mississippi, etc. The personal information is now on fragile little page 2, rather than just inside the sturdy front cover. My face is also printed directly on it, with no interference from our traditional friend, the photograph.

But really, this information page is just a formality, as my new passport is equipped with "sensitive electronics" that should not be folded, bent, or exposed to extreme temperatures. Yup, you guessed it, a microchip. I guess I should just be glad they didn't ask if they could also put one in my right hand.

It seems the end of an era really, as I'm sure this puts that most iconic of world travellers - the good ol' earthy backpacker - at a disadvantage:
"Avoid extreme temperatures?! What am I suppose to do with it when I'm riding in a camel train across the Sahara? No folding?! What about when I'm on a night train to outer Slabovia and we're attacked by train robbers on horseback, and I throw my pack out the window and do a diving roll to save my life and last thirty dollars?! I can't be worried about "not bending" my passport at times like that!!"


On a different note, my old passport was apparently invalidated by a pack of rabid single hole punches that attacked one night as it sat defenseless in the office. Seriously, it looks like it was involved in a drive-by in Auckland Central. Happily, they missed my NZ work visa, and some of my cooler stamps from past forays like Cambodia and Germany (yes, I'm bragging).


And while I don't generally recommend surrendering your passport when in a foreign country, it was a relatively quick and painless procedure to bring my documentation into the 21st century. I will let you know if I discover that the chip plays My Country Tis' of Thee, or anything when scanned - that would be so worth it.

3 comments:

Jill said...

I know New Zealand is relatively harmless, but it still makes me a little nervous to think of having the old passport mutilated like that! What if they turn on us? Oh Jemaine and Bret, please have mercy on your American friends! :)

My passport is somewhere in between those stages, with a digital photo, but personal info right inside the cover. Chris just renewed his, and it's the deluxe Lady Liberty Edition. I was surprised it wasn't delivered by a bald eagle.

Charity said...

Flight of the Conchords owes us for much of their commercial success, so they'd better show love to Americans if New Zealand went rogue!

I think you have to sign up for extra-patriotic delivery. Maybe he didn't see the check box?

Shanole said...

When I first read the title of this blog I was a little nervous for you but realized you didn't actually microchip yourself. Phewwwww.
That's a crazy story though!!